It is said that the Emperor of China asked Bodhidharma, ‘My mind is very restless. I am in constant inner turmoil. Give me some peace or give me some secret key to how I can enter into the inner silence.’
So Bodhidharma said, ‘You come early in the morning, four o’clock, when there is no one here. When I am alone here in my hut you come. And remember, bring your restless mind with you. Don’t leave it at home.’
The king was very much disturbed, thinking that this man was mad. He says, ‘Bring your disturbed mind with you. Don’t leave it at home, otherwise who am I going to silence? I will make it still, but bring it! Remember well.’
The emperor left, but more disturbed than ever. He had been thinking that this man was a sage, a wise man, and he would give him some key, but whatsoever he said seemed to be foolish – how can one leave one’s mind at home? He couldn’t sleep. The eyes of Bodhidharma and the way he had looked at him… he was hypnotized – as if a magnet was pulling. He couldn’t sleep the whole night, and at four he was ready. He didn’t really want to go because this man was mad. And going so early, in darkness, when no one was there – this man could do anything.
But still, he was so attracted that in spite of himself he went. And the first thing that Bodhidharma asked…. He was sitting before his hut with his staff in his hands, and he said, ‘Okay. So you have come. Where is your restless mind? Have you brought that? I am ready to silence it.’
The emperor now said, ‘What are you talking about? How can one forget the mind? It is always there.’
Bodhidharma said, ‘Where? Where is it? Show it to me so I can silence it, and you can go back.’
The emperor said, ‘But it is not something objective. I cannot show it to you, I cannot put it in my hand. It is within me.’
So Bodhidharma said, ‘Okay, close your eyes and try to find out where it is. And the moment you catch hold of it, open your eyes and tell me and I will still it.’
In that silence and with this madman, the emperor closed his eyes. He tried and tried. And he was afraid also, because Bodhidharma was sitting with his staff – any moment he would hit. He tried and tried and tried. He looked everywhere, in every nook and corner of his being – where is that mind which is restless? And the more he looked, the more he realized that the restlessness had disappeared. The more he tried to search… like a shadow it was not there.
Two hours passed, and he was not even aware of what had happened. His face became silent, he became like a Buddha statue, and then with the rising sun Bodhidharma said, ‘Now open your eyes. It is enough. Two hours are more than enough. Now can you tell me where it is?’
The emperor opened his eyes. He was as silent as a human being can be. He bowed down his head at Bodhidharma’s feet and said, ‘You have already silenced it.’
Emperor Wu has written in his autobiography, ‘This man is miraculous, magical. Not doing anything he silenced my mind. And I also didn’t do anything. I just entered myself and tried to find where it is. Of course he was right: first locate it, where it is. And just the effort to locate it, and it was not found there.’
You will not find the ego. If you go in, if you search for it, you will not find it there. It has never existed. It is just a false substitute. It has some utility, that’s why you have invented it. Because you don’t know your real being, the real center, and without a center it is difficult to function, you have created a fiction, a fictitious center, and you function through it.
Unless the real center is known, the ego has to function. Meditation brings you to the real center. And with that very happening, the utility for the false disappears.
But this must be kept in consciousness – that the ego is not your real center. Only then can you start a search for the real. And spirituality is not a transformation of it. It cannot be transformed. It is unreal, it is simply not. You cannot do anything with it. If you are aware, alert, if you watch it within yourself, it disappears. Just the flame of your awareness and it is not there. Spirituality is a transcendence.
OSHO
